I spent 72 hours in self-inflicted agony so you don’t have to.

This article is an online version of the print article for the S/S ‘20 Lexington Line edition. The print version can be viewed here!

What is Dopamine Fasting?

Dopamine fasting is a miserable process. But that’s sort of the point. The fast consists of a period of deprivation during which brave subjects abstain from all things pleasurable in order to increase the sensation of pleasure after the fact. This means no socializing, screens, sex or substances, and for the more extreme fasters, no talking or consuming food.

The pleasure detox surfaced in 2016 and quickly became a hit for Silicon Valley execs looking for rejuvenation. Its tweetable trendiness aside, many experts argue that it’s rooted in faulty logic as we don’t have much control over the release of dopamine in our brains.

In spite of the academic and scientific criticism it has received, the trend has continued to generate media buzz, and the curious have continued to give it a whirl.

I was one of those curious people, but reading other’s accounts wasn’t enough for me. I needed to try it out myself.

The Rules

No socializing or talking unless necessary for school or work, and no talking whatsoever on day 3
No unhealthy food, and on day 3, no food at all
No phone, internet or TV usage unless required for school or work, and no phone, internet or TV usage whatsoever on day 3
No reading for pleasure
No excessive exercise
No listening to music

My Experience

Day 1: Shock

I woke up on Day One and stared at my ceiling. As much as I’d like to deny it, I couldn’t remember the last time I had gone without checking my phone within the first 30 minutes of being awake. Strangely enough, there was a pleasant sacredness that a lack of media contributed to my morning routine. I spent a lot of time on my makeup routine and outfit choice. Things were off to a good start.

Until I got to school, that is. I immediately realized that there is nothing more depressing than watching your friends socialize while you sit isolated in a self-inflicted vow of silence. All I had to entertain me was homework, and I even began snacking on Altoids to fill the void I felt forming. I became irritable and lonely even though I was in a room full of people. I couldn’t believe how quickly I was feeling the effects of restriction. Looking back on it now, I think Day One was centered around overcoming the shock of sudden isolation and boredom.

In order to entertain myself, I was constantly lost in my own thoughts. For instance, on my walk to work in the morning, I was completely zoned out, and I felt like I “came to” after a long night’s rest when I arrived at school. At that moment, I promised myself that I would take advantage of my phonelessness by using the

next two days to turn my focus outwards and observe the world around me with more careful consideration. I went to bed that night at 10:30 PM due to a lack of anything else to do.

Day 2: Restlessness

The following morning, I woke up out of a nightmare about getting kidnapped. Clearly, my brain was informing me that it felt trapped in the confines of the fast. Despite the dream, Day Two proved to be better as I was getting used to operating within the rules. As I was walking to school from the New York Public Library with my friend in silence, I began laughing uncontrollably when I overheard a woman say something funny on the street.

“This may just be proof that this thing is working,” my friend said as I wiped away tears. And I began to believe her, too. Surely if something so simple made me laugh until I couldn't breathe, the reset had to be working, right?

The most difficult part of the day came later that night as I struggled through my homework load. Anytime I needed a break, all I could do was stare at a wall. My head was pounding with academic-induced fatigue, but I had no outlet for my stress. A little meditation before bed helped my restlessness, but it didn’t touch the feeling of emptiness that was further developing in the pit of my stomach.

Day 3: Boredom

I awoke after another night of vivid dreams overcome by a sense of dread. Day Three was my magnum opus. No talking, no eating, no screen usage of any kind—no joy, dammit! Needless to say, it was draining, and the constant nag of hunger certainly didn’t help.

I spent a lot of my energy calculating how I was going to spend my time. I found myself scrawling a schedule in my notebook: two hours of walking, two hours of people watching at a coffee shop, two hours of laundry, twenty minutes in the shower, thirty minutes of journaling, twenty minutes of meditation,

ten minutes of laying in bed before falling asleep… “It’s the last four hours that I fear will be torturous,” I wrote that morning. “What will I do then? Perhaps read ahead in one of my textbooks.”

I felt the walls of my apartment growing closer together and decided it was time to escape. So I walked to 1st Avenue from my apartment, and then to 12th. When I arrived on the West Side, I sat on a bench near the Intrepid Museum. I listened intently to the sounds around me—waves lapping the docks, seagulls squawking above me, jingling dog collars and sneakers scraping against gravel. I wrote. I breathed. I rested. All of my actions seemed more significant and deliberate without the usual barrage of distractions.

After walking back to my corner of the city, drinking some tea while watching the world buzz by me, reading a little Kafka, folding some laundry and filling eight more notebook pages with my brain’s contents, I finally allowed myself to flop into my bed and call it a night.

I felt at peace, but I was beyond ready for the fast to end.

My Results

I woke up the morning after my fast at 7 AM—I could hardly wait to experience the ecstasy of responding to texts and scrolling through YouTube’s homepage. And I did feel a wave of excitement wash over me as I switched on my iPhone. However, as I began to draft my first few text messages, I found that I was not overcome by any particular kind of high.

When scrolling through Instagram, I spent more time taking in each post than usual, reading captions and analyzing photos. I was also particularly sucked into videos—I watched all three video advertisements that popped up on my feed in their entirety, and I rewatched Selena Gomez’s “Rare” music video and was amazed by it. But apart from that, the increase

in my excitement was very slight.

Later that morning, I went to school to work an open house event. Immediately, I felt more grateful to be around other people. I was extra talkative and felt energized by the conversations. But soon thereafter, everything began to fade back to normalcy. Within 3½ hours of being awake, I was maneuvering my phone at my pre-fast speed, watching YouTube videos mindlessly and socializing mechanically.

72 hours of fasting for 3½ hours of slightly heightened excitement.

Here’s the thing: this fast carries some value. Disconnecting from the world, directing your attention to the present moment and recentering yourself through silence, meditation and journaling are healing practices in our technology-obsessed era. That being said, I believe the intentions of the dopamine fast are in the wrong place. A fast or cleanse or detox should not be structured to serve the thing that you are fasting, cleansing or detoxing from—you (hopefully) wouldn’t take a break from getting drunk every weekend to make getting drunk more fun in the future. Rather, you’d do it to get your priorities in line and focus on your health. Why treat technology differently than other vices?

Besides, listening to music, spending time with loved ones, exercising, eating healthy food and reading are all excellent ways to nourish your mental health. I cannot wrap my head around the value of fasting from these positive things. If you’re feeling as though you’ve been investing too much time in draining media or exhaustive partying, then recenter yourself through a little self-reflection. Try to resist the urge to pick up your phone for a few hours each week. Try to foster an awareness of how distracting your addictions can be. Try to spend more time appreciating the present. But please don’t feel the need to deprive yourself of joy. It’s simply not worth it.

Thumbnail image source: Medical X Press

Dopamine Fiend