You Can't Take It With Jules: Gossip Girl 1.11 Recap

Hey Upper East Siders,

We’re reaching the end of the season. I’m not so sure about you, but I really need us to turn up the drama before it’s all over.

Merry Christmas, New Yorkers. Who doesn’t love Bryant Park and the Rockefeller Tree? I know I do, despite how touristy they may seem.

Audrey and Aki are back to looking for a third. Now that Max is no longer an option, they turn to online dating to find someone. Their first third doesn’t seem to do it for them. Their second third (that guy Jamison Audrey had gone out with) also doesn’t seem to do it for them. Who will the third be?

There’s a holiday fundraiser for private schools (which sounds like the most private school thing ever) going on this week that Zoya’s dad wants her to invite JC too. Unfortunately, the sisters are still on the outs after that horrible party. I’m getting kind of sick of this rollercoaster, anyone agree?

Obie’s sister Heidi (Kathryn Gallagher) shows up out of the blue. I love the fact that another actress from You has joined us. Heidi was recently engaged, which comes as a big shock to Obie. It’s also incredibly shocking to Max. Apparently Max lost his virginity to Heidi and has felt deeply connected to her since then. We all know Max is incredibly struggling. Instead of going to a therapist like the rest of us, he decides to ruin Heidi’s engagement instead. That’s a healthy alternative, right?

While academic probation sounds boring, it seems as it’s not too bad for Zoya. She makes a new friend Shan (Grace Duah) and the two of them sneak off for a day of fun. This doesn’t go well with her dad, but Z deserves a good day after a horrible few months.

Now I guess we have to talk about JC. Her grandma is in town and is forcing her to move to Indiana. Now I might not be the biggest Julien fan, but JC in Indiana? That just seems wrong. Julien tries to convince her grandma that she does have family here, meaning Zoya and her dad. But when she shows up at Z’s, it all backfires. Zoya had lied to her dad about being with Julien when she was really with Shan, and it seems as though he doesn’t like JC’s grandma much.

Speaking of wrong, the teachers are still up to no good. Kate is working on exposing all of them. She starts with Scott and keeps moving down the line. The last one left on her list is Sharon, who happens to have something big planned for the fundraiser.

Meanwhile, Obie, Heidi, and her fiancee, Klaus, are having dinner. The two actually seem to make a lovely couple, that is, until Max shows up. As I mentioned earlier, he’s desperate to break them up. Later on, when he hears Heidi making a phone call, he believes that her fiancee is only marrying her in order to help his business. Poor Max, he thinks love has to be transactional. Turns out, it was Heidi who was slightly using Klaus. She loved the business more than him, and so he breaks it off with her.

Now we’ve made it to the fundraiser. Thankfully, we get an Audrey and JC make up. Although, Audrey has no idea that Julien is leaving. But that’s not even the worst of her worries. She can’t seem to figure out why her and Aki feel so disconnected, and why no other third seems to work. Oh Audrey, did you think Max was the only one who developed feelings? Audrey and Aki realize that what’s missing from their relationship is Max. Too bad he’s too busy screwing up everyone else’s life instead of just screwing them.

Zoya shows up to the fundraiser as well. She wasn’t supposed to be there at first, due to the fact she was grounded. However, Shan showed up and tricked her into going. I’m not so sure how I feel about this new friendship, but Shan did help Zoya and her dad to reconcile.

As I mentioned, Sharon has something big planned. She’s going to drop info about someone who got an abortion, which as Kate retaliates, are we really going to judge someone for exercising their right to choose? Thankfully, Kate manages to stop her. And with doing so, she ends up with the rights back to GG. This may seem like a win, but she decides with her return to power that she is going to drop every single tip that has ever been sent in and who sent it in. That is probably the worst idea of all time!

On a happier note, Julien doesn’t have to move to Indiana. Instead, she’s cramming into Zoya and her father’s apartment. I’m not quite sure how the lack of space will do for JC, but it has to be better than Indiana.

Well GG fans, tomorrow we will be recapping the finale. I don’t know about you, but I have a feeling everything is about to blow up in flames.

But until then,

Xoxo.