Lies Wide Shut: Gossip Girl 1.03 Recap

Another Thursday, another Gossip Girl episode. And once again, there’s no secret that’ll stay hidden forever. 

Julien’s attempting to find her identity by finding another man, which of course, will never work. Self-love is the only way to go with this journey! No matter how far she travels, her identity is hiding away in New York. Luna and Monet are determined to get their queen back on top, but this time Julien needs to figure it out on her own. And who else would come to the rescue with a crazy night, other than Max?

Meanwhile, Audrey and Aki are crumbling under their own secrets. The two have both had a rendezvous with Max and are both feeling terrible about it. As they confide in their friends, they’re both determined to keep it quiet. 

Obie and Zoya are working on progressing their relationship, but Zoya’s more worried about the #zugly hashtag going around. Obie tries to suggest living a social media free life, but is that even possible in the 21st century or a gossip girl world?

Our favorite (or maybe not so favorite) teachers are beginning to worry when the headmistress is demanding Gossip Girl to end. Whoever’s behind it is determined isn’t the right word, try like bound) determined to be expelled (or fired, in their case), but the teachers aren’t quite ready to give her up yet. No matter the stakes, they’ll let anyone take the fall. And I’m sure the secret of being GG is the drama they needed to fulfill their lives.

Max is dealing with some fatherly issues, as his two dads, Roy and Gildeon, seem to have trouble in paradise. Roy is seeming to have trouble with Gildeon’s identity, Gildeon has begun to dress in a more feminine manner, with getting blow outs and stunning McQueen outfits. Roy seems to want him to stay as masculine as possible, and when he’s not getting his way, he creates an online dating profile to find someone more to his liking. Which, of course, Max stumbles upon during his night out with Julien. His idea for getting the truth out is to catfish his father using his favorite teacher’s images (the one he’s been trying to hook up with). And of course, he leaves it to Aki to do his dirty work.

Max isn’t the only one having daddy issues, as Julien spots her father on her night out. She spots a woman with her father, while he lied to her about being in Berlin.

On the Upper West Side, Zoya and Obie’s relationship is finally starting to grow, beginning with a date night with Zoya’s dad. However, Zoya’s more focused with her online relationship. She reaches out to Luna to stop the degrading hashtag, but Luna convinces her that she has to change her appearance in order to get what she wants. Who doesn’t love a good makeover? Luna certainly needs a backup queen with the way Julien’s been acting. 

The next night, everyone’s out for a new Broadway show opening. Of course, there’s the “play outside the play” as Max and Julien plan to expose their fathers. Exposing never ends well, and these two will face the consequences. Of course, Julien’s problems get fixed pretty easily,  by growing a relationship with the woman. However, things aren’t so great for Max. Roy ends up moving out––at least for now. 

These consequences don’t just end with Max and Julien. As Max deals with the truth of his fathers, he also lets out the truth of his affairs with Aki and Audrey. Which of course, the two forgive each other, because why would they sit down and try to figure out their problems when they can be in a fake happy relationship? Especially when we see Aki using his fake profile to look at other men online. It doesn’t seem to matter to anyone, or himself, that he’s having trouble with his sexuality. 

Zoya and Obie’s date night at the theatre doesn’t go so well either. Zoya is practically pretending to be Luna all night. She refuses to eat in front of anyone, shares her thoughts, and has pads under her arms so that no one can see her sweat. Again, this doesn’t last long. We see Zoya explaining herself to Obie at the end of the night. The only good thing to come out of it is Obie apologizing to Julien, realizing it wasn’t just her fault with the way things ended.

Meanwhile, the teachers decide to let one of their own take the fall. Which, of course, they don’t let her know they’re planning on setting her up. But as long as the rest of them are safe, who cares, right? 

I’m beginning to hate how quickly things are getting resolved, but Luna and Monet have something on the rise. They still have a secret about Zoya waiting to be released, and if it means bringing back order in the school, they’ll do whatever it takes. At least our two favorite mean girls are keeping things interesting.

Xoxo.