Things That Have Helped My Relationship More Than AI Ever Could

A couple of weeks ago, my friend and I were talking about the unwanted interference of AI in our lives, and he told me the most concerning story: his 16-year-old brother's best friend wrote a love poem for the girl he had a crush on. After the girl received the poem, she couldn’t make sense of the words before her, so she asked ChatGPT to tell her what the poem was about and write three appropriate responses for her to send to the boy.

The humanity of the poem: stripped immediately.

If I am as sick of AI as the next person, then why do I keep hearing about people using AI for their college graduation speech or going to ChatGPT for sex and relationship advice?

What would AI know about these personal, human scenarios? How can it recommend solutions when it has no experience to base them on? ChatGPT has never experienced heartbreak, or being so obsessed with someone you can’t stop singing love songs, or having a class you dread so much it makes it almost impossible to get out of bed every morning, or the satisfaction that comes with submitting the last assignment of the semester for said, dreaded class.

As a protest, I have curated a list of five things that I have done for my girlfriend that had more impact than any advice AI could ever provide.

1. A four-page front-and-back handwritten letter:

I'm not proud to admit it, but a while ago I got too drunk at the club and said some things I didn’t mean to my girlfriend. When my relationship was hanging by a thread, the thing that saved it was a four-page front-and-back handwritten apology letter

Did this letter have spelling mistakes? Probably. Was this letter written in the most perfect grammatical way possible? No. Did this letter have crossed-over words and corrections right there on the page? Yes. Did I abuse the use of em dashes in this letter? Also yes. But would my girlfriend have forgiven me if I used AI to write this letter? Definitely no.

The reason why this letter helped is that I was being honest, and I was being vulnerable. (And because it was attached to a bouquet of flowers). It showed that I cared enough about our relationship to take the time and the hand cramps to curate this letter. That I understood the situation, and that I accepted that I was in the wrong, but I was going to work on doing better.

2. A period basket:

Yes, that is exactly what it sounds like: a basket with everything my girlfriend would need for her crampiest period.

This happened not long after she made me a “boo basket” for Halloween. Which I did not reciprocate—and before anyone gets on my case, this is not an accosum thing in Mexico (where I am from), so she had to explain the tradition to me, and since then I have made her a Valentine's and Easter basket, so no, I am not a terrible girlfriend—still, I wanted to repay the favor, but there wasn’t really any significant occasion happening other than day two of her period.

After class, I ran around Fifth Avenue trying to get everything I needed: her favourite snacks, hot cocoa, fuzzy socks, comfy pjs, Advil, red hand sanitizer, red baseline, an eye mask, a toy, a heating pillow, a “while you mend” card, and of course a basket. Most importantly, I wanted everything to maintain a red theme.

To this day, all her friends still demand that their boyfriends make them period baskets.

3. A profile on my girlfriend:

I have to admit, for one of my classes I had to write a profile about someone that I admire, so the idea wasn’t originally mine, but still I chose to do it on her. I interviewed her, her friends, and myself to write a profile titled “The Nonchalant Queen” depicting her.

This ended up being not only an assignment, but a portrayal of her and our love story through my eyes.

4. Notes always:

I'm a Media and English Major, so are we really surprised I write cheesy notes for everything?

It all started a couple of days before we said I love you for the first time—which happened before we started officially dating, talk about lesbian stereotypes. I wrote a little entry in my diary about how the song “Pretty Little Baby” was always stuck in my head when I was with her, but recently the song “Labyrinth” had taken over, even though “I wasn’t even a Taylor Swift fan.” I showed her this entry, she blushed, and sure enough, after we actually said it, I left her a note saying “I love you” with the date and a red lipstick kiss.

Similar note to the one I asked her to be my girlfriend on. From there, I started leaving notes for everything and anything—attaching them to postcards and matches from restaurants we visited, or places that reminded me of her, leaving them on her lunch bag to open up later, or on her desk while she was in class, and always with the date and a red lipstick kiss attached to them.

5. Photobooth strip as bookmarks:

This one, she actually hasn't noticed yet, but I recently started using our photobooth strip pictures as my bookmarks. I carry my book anywhere I go, so there is something special about carrying her with me anywhere I go.

Whenever I open my book, there is a physical reminder of our relationship. She can smile at me, and I can smile at the people around me, peeking into the pages to figure out what’s on them. It is just a little extra detail to feel our closeness throughout the day.

What do all these things have in common? They are human, they are analogue, and real emotions were poured into them. These aren’t things that could be interchangeable with another couple; these are things personal to ours. They are meaningful because they reflect who we are, and if they had come out from a machine or a generative service, their essence would be missing, their meaning would be hijacked.

So, if you are looking for things to do to show your partner how much you care about them, then yes, this list might serve you as inspiration. But remember to make them your own ideas, to add a splash of your relationship to the mix, because the most special gifts come from understanding and appreciation of other people's feelings and experiences—and AI will NEVER be able to achieve that.